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Review
“The author of this book is witty, wise, and happily, very practical. Using her own experience with her daughter, as well as her training as a psychologist, she guides us through the shoals of parenting and reassures us that while parenting a daughter is not smooth sailing, it is possible with a little help―and this book is quite helpful. For example, almost all parents of teenagers are going to get carved up by their child from time to time, and it's nice to know that the constant criticism is part of the teen's passage rather than one's own terminal defects. Also welcome are the many chapter tips, including the ones that help us understand obsessive behavior with phones and texting. The book is not only extremely sensible, it's terrifically readable. You get to laugh at yourself, and learn valuable information at the same time.†―Pepper Schwartz, PhD, American sociologist and sexologist, professor at the University of Washington in Seattle, WA, and author of 201 Questions to Ask Your Kids “In Parenting a Teen Girl, Lucie Hemmen brings expertise, common sense, and a no-drama approach to the challenge of raising girls with respect and love. Her ideas are clear, realistic, and powerful, and her steady guidance will help you bring confidence and skill to your dealings with teen girls or, for that matter, with anyone. Her teachings are so universal and wise that we could all do well to learn from them, no matter the age or gender of the people we interact with.” —Frank Andrews, PhD, professor at the University of California, Santa Cruz and author of The Art and Practice of Loving “Parenting a Teen Girl busts through many myths and helps parents stop catastrophizing and start connecting with their teen girls. Face your fears head-on and learn concrete steps to tackle common problems such as oversharing in social media and moodiness. You can learn to stop complaining about your teen girl and starting connecting to her." —Lara Honos-Webb, PhD, author of The Gift of Adult ADD and Listening to Depression “This is the instruction book we always wished our children came with. Hemmen provides straight talk, practical tips, and an empathetic understanding of the challenges that teen girls and parents face today.” —Lisa M. Schab, LCSW, author of The Anxiety Workbook for Teens and Beyond the Blues “Parenting a Teen Girl will help parents understand their daughters’ behavior and experiences and create healthier connections with them. Through real-life examples and reflective exercises, Hemmen encourages parents to increase their self-awareness and teaches them to choose their responses rather than react to the chaos that life with a teen daughter can create.†―Sheri Van Dijk, MSW, RSW, psychotherapist and author of Don’t Let Your Emotions Run Your Life for Teens, The Bipolar Workbook for Teens, and Calming the Emotional Storm “As an Internet expert, educator of teens and parents, and mother of two girls, I appreciate Hemmen's coverage of the issues most relevant to raising teen girls in today's world. The book hits all the most important targets without lapsing into long, academically dense discourse. Readers won't get that overwhelmed and hopeless feeling regarding the state of today's teenage girls! In fact, the book energizes as it informs. I love that the book offers practical tips parents can plug in immediately—especially regarding how to guide teens in the tech world. Hemmen's compassion, understanding, and humor make the book a quick and valuable read.” —Lori Getz, Internet safety expert and founder of Cyber Education Consultants
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About the Author
Lucie Hemmen, PhD, is a licensed clinical psychologist who has worked for over twenty years to strengthen communication between teens and parents. The mother of two teen daughters named Marley and Daisy, Hemmen lives and practices in Santa Cruz, CA.
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Product details
Paperback: 184 pages
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications; 1 edition (August 1, 2012)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1608822133
ISBN-13: 978-1608822133
Product Dimensions:
7.9 x 0.6 x 9.8 inches
Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces
Average Customer Review:
4.4 out of 5 stars
90 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#102,904 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
This author does make a lot of good points and really does help us to appreciate our girl's point of view. I've learned a lot!On the other hand, I felt it's teaching us to be a loving, well-disciplined, tongue-biting . . . doormat. The ultimate goal here is to be a safe person to come to - to go from being an authority to being an adviser while our daughters do what they're going to do and trusting that ultimately they're going to ride out the storm and become respectable, responsible people.Yes - she does talk about saying, "No" and having rules, but to be honest, my stomach was churning when she cited an example of a mom who asked her daughter if she was having sex, and when the answer was "Yes, and I want birth-control pills" - this mom had the "audacity" of looking shocked. The example goes on to tell how the MOTHER had to come back an apologize for not being safe and accepting enough. They resolved things with the mom just standing by and letting her daughter engage in promiscuous behavior (helping get pills and keeping the house "off limits). Great . . .I'll be honest - I'm still reading, hoping perhaps that I'm going to find something in here that talks about making time to teach values, expecting responsible behavior, and holding our kids accountable to family rules since they are benefiting from parental sacrifices. I also haven't yet found anything about filling our daughter's lives with positive influences/people (church, good books, role models) that can help them start making and benefiting from positive choices sooner than later.I think sometimes it's just as important to set unpopular boundaries that protect our kids as it is to be "safe." It's a balancing act - and not an easy one.For example, I have a sister who was homecoming queen who had a boy show up at her bedroom window. My dad was like, "Old Yeller" protecting his daughter. She was mortified, but years later (with an amazing husband and a beautiful family) she's tearfully acknowledged how grateful she was that Dad held the line and was strong for her at perhaps a time of weakness.Rather than just being a rather passive "adviser" I believe our role is to be more of a guide. Think of a guide in the Grand Canyon saying, "You know, I'd strongly suggest you don't go that way, the bridge is out and there have been rock-slides, but I'll support you and I'm here for you if you choose otherwise."No - the guide keeps the group together and maps a course through rough terrain. And - yes, the guide might alter course when reasonable requests are made and yes, someone can choose to ignore the guide and go their own way, but the guide's job is to help the group have an amazing adventure safely.I think it's possible to be a totally safe person to come to without surrendering family rules and values. I think we can send the message, "I love you unconditionally and will sacrifice for your sake to help you find real happiness. I will help you find and support healing, healthy choices. And if you choose destructive behavior, I love you enough NOT to support that."A string doesn't hold a kite down, it makes it possible for it to fly. Let go of the string and the kite falls to the earth. Holding the line is sometimes (and perhaps often) exactly what our kids need.I certainly don't have all the answers, but so far, I don't feel like this book does either.I'll update this comment if I find the author has addressed this later. For now, I'm taking what she says with a pretty good-sized grain of salt.
This book is full of excellent information about parenting teen girls. Lucie Hemmen has written the book in a very user friendly manner. It has many wonderful ideas for communicating to your daughter, as well as signs to watch out for in our teens behavior that may mean they need our direct help - or when to seek professional help.
I wanted to like this book... I wanted to get some good advice about handling my daughter's transition form child to teen. But honestly it just didn't do it for me. I feel like the book could have been half as long and still have said the same things. I much prefer the other book I bought at the same time, "Untangled". That is a detailed book with great insight into the behaviors I am seeing in my daughter.
There seems to be a lot of helpful information in this book. The way that it was written is easy to read. It is almost as if it is written from the viewpoint of a teenager giving advice on what works best for her. The information that is presented is very applicable to real life and shows the parent how to not only help and understand her teenage daughter but it also helps the parent help and understand herself. A worthwhile purchase that has helped me to take a different perspective.
This is a must for surviving a teenage girl. After reading this, we know we are not crazy - they are. My husband and I can now not get upset at the outrageous things she says and does, and just look at each other with humor and knowing. The advice is great. I read it so fast the first time through as though my life depended on it, and now am going to read it slowly to get every bit of wisdom and knowledge. MUST READ.
Very good book for anyone trying to parent & raise a teenage girl. As a single dad, this has helped me tremendously, knowing that my daughter has lots of inner struggles, peer pressure, self-image issues & more emphasis on what OTHER people (teenagers) are thinking; plus she's caught in that awkward age between a "kid" & an "adult"...hormones aren't the problem, they are there but the big issue is the developing brain. I think every parent of a teenage girl should at least read it & then see how you feel/think about what the author is saying. Personally, I highly recommend it!
I still have a couple chapters left to read but I have been very pleased with it so far. The book gives such realistic examples that sometimes I feel like they could have pulled them from our everyday life. It has helped guide me with my daughter as she enters a different stage of her life. I'm so grateful to have found a book that gives loving advice.
I bought this book on my kindle, I think it is the kind of advice/guide book that I will return to often when feeling confused or exasperated. I ordered a teen parenting book before, I forgot the title, but it was not helpful at all and it talked down to me as a parent, as if I hadn't already thought of and tried out the obvious author's suggestions. Like we parents didn't get the nuances.Lucie Hemmen doesn't do this thankfully. It is very straightforward, clear and helpful!
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