Free PDF The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples
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The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples
Free PDF The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples
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Product details
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Audible Audiobook
Listening Length: 16 hours and 25 minutes
Program Type: Audiobook
Version: Unabridged
Publisher: Brilliance Audio
Audible.com Release Date: April 1, 2012
Whispersync for Voice: Ready
Language: English, English
ASIN: B007QIAKHW
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
This book is fascinating, brilliant, and enlightening. It's a must read for anyone in a long term committed relationship, wishing to be in a long-term committed relationship, or working as a counselor or therapist with those who are. Gottman integrates much of his previous work, extends it into the area of trust, mistrust, and betrayal, and challenges himself and his colleagues by creating a mathematical model to test and generate theory about intimate human relationship.
Gottman's work is deservedly renowned, and this is no exception. Unlike a lot of other "next books" that are repeats of an ongoing theme with very little added, The Science of Trust feels mostly new. If you've read Gottman's other works, the parts that foundational are presented in a useful context and with additional elements, so even reading about them again creates new insights. And, of course, the focus on "trust" as a key new ingredient in successful relationships is very useful--particularly because Gottman develops it in a scientific way that takes a lot of the ambiguity out, and replaces it with clearer insight and ideas for how to operationalize it. I'm looking at my copy of the book now, and it has over 40 pages bookmarked with material I want to apply...for example the importance of building trust in ways that include space for challenging emotions, "ATTUNE" dimensions for emotional connection, dynamic models of how trust is built (or betrayed), attuning during regrettable incidents....That said, the book is heavy reading in the later chapters. Gottman has a lot of mathematical modeling that, personally, I love--but imagine others who've read his more popularized books might find challenging, even though these parts are well explained.My recommendation: if you're serious about relationships, and are patient, get it and read what you can. You'll learn something worthwhile.
I get the author wants to include his data into the book, but it really makes it difficult to read the book due to constant numbers being thrown at the reader. I wish more of his data would of been presented in either tables or graphs and left the novel without so much data. At times, it really reads more like a text book then something I wanted to read in bed. I am currently receiving my Master's Degree so I am used to reading higher level books, but this one tries a little too hard.
Yes the relationship is a thing, it's not just him or her. This book is all about studies of processes within couples relating to each other.If you want to understand how to nurture a relationship or recognise certain characteristics of relationshipsThis explains a lot of how relationships work or do not work, also when they continue or split, why and what predicts it and how to make things go well in a relationship in ways that build trust. Looking in my past, this book made a lot of sense.It is also interesting as to how they setup experiments to learn about these positive neutral and negative processes in loving relationships.This Gottman book is not a workbook so its good for an emotionally intelligent bachelor preparing for a life long relationship as well as those already in a relationship.
It was less important to me to know that relationships can be modeled mathematically than it was to realize the weight given to all the actions and reactions that go on in them. No longer can one diminish their responsibility to the success or failure of a marriage or any interaction with others. How we get from A to B to C ... is very well said, even though I would not have guessed math would be the way to do it. Understanding trust is too vital to not give this book a read.
I agree with previous reviewers on this book - there is valuable information, but the book could have been written in 1/3 to 1/2 the number of pages. I wanted so much to like it and to be able to recommend it but it wasn't at the caliber of Gottman's previous books. I'm surprised it has such a high rating overall.I purchased the audio version and found it incredibly tedious - it was unabridged and at times the book came across as being written more like a dissertation with facts and citations that only academicians want to know about. There were lengthy chapters on game theory, endless naming of sources, and other elements that didn't answer questions about couples. I wanted a distillation of the facts, and kept thinking "Get to the point, already!" The audio absolutely needs to be abridged to be useful.
So far so good! I'm about halfway through and I already feel better about a lot of things that I was beginning to think we're hopeless
Blowing away thousands of books' worth of myth and misdirection, Gottman pulls no punches in laying out his data for how couples drift apart and how happy couples stay together. Insightful, meticulous, and detailed, it is often an uncomfortable read, always an insightful one. Not so much a manual of how to repair your marriage, which he covers in other materials, this is more about how it went wrong and the reasons why to work on it. He does nonetheless identify the key behaviours to avoid and the key behaviours that can help.
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